My first time...

[The_Propagandist]

I hardly know how to describe it. A tip for everyone: be sitting down.
I went out to the garage to smoke some 20x & after the first hit, I felt something changing... it was weird. "So this is what its like" I remember thinking... 2 more hits & I didn't know what I was. Not even who, but what. I didn't black out exactly, but my consciousness was very abnormal - I somehow dropped my drink of water & it spilled on my pant legs (I felt retarded for that) - do not recall how - after a few minutes, I figured I should go inside - I got a bit paranoid 'cause my mom had people over I'd have to see on my way to the room I wanted to go to - lucky the spill was not on the crotch area! Anyway, I got to where I was going, put my head down on a desk & closed my eyes, where I slipped off into wonderland again. My description can not do justice to the experience, & its not very clear, & wasn't then either, but I felt kind of like I was a finger on the hand of "God" (& other people close to me other "fingers") & we were trying to grab something - what was not clear - but there was a very uneasy feeling.... a sort of urgency & anticipation, like something needs to be done & is maybe started even, but isn't in synch... I guess thats kind of an analogy or something. But it was a very uncomfortable feeling for me, but I'm a fearful & paranoid person, so I guess thats to be expected from me. There were other thoughts & interesting perceptions, but this is the main jist of it. Overall, it was kind of confusing, & the urgency & anticipation were almost overwhelming, & there was nothing I could do to relieve it.