Oh wow, this is big news. So unexpected. You won't fucking believe what happened on Friday.
One of our suppliers has only gone and upgraded their elastic muthaflippin' band supply!
We get most of our incense from this one supplier who package it all up in little bundles held together with elastic bands. Shitty elastic bands. The type of laggy band that you're 85% sure won't survive another deployment; that you can't quite bare to chuck in the bin; that inevitably get put in a drawer somewhere until you forget about them and they turn to rubbery crumbs. Still, they served their purpose, keeping everything neatly together until I come along and unpack it into our own inventory. Fantastic. Couldn't get much better, I thought.
Boy, was I wrong! CHECK OUT THESE BADBOYS:
I mean, Jesus Christ, what excellent quality rubber bands. You know what this means? I'm finally free of my modest pile of semi-perished laggy bands and can now look forward to a future of strength, stability and togetherness that only premium quality, mint condition laggy bands can provide.
In other news, a draft bill to "ban legal highs" was presented to the House of Lords on Friday too. I almost forgot to mention it due to A) the mesmerizing girth of these rubber bands and B) because it's actually nothing to worry about. At least, not for a long time.
Seriously, it's business as usual. Getting even a relatively straightforward bill all the way from a draft to a fully-fledged "Act of Parliament" takes ages. Such a complicated and heavy-handed bill as this will take longer still. The number of people who are emailing me trying to buy up all our stock for cheap assuming it's been banned is both hilarious and solid evidence people are assuming the worst - and I don't blame them because that's generally how the media have presented it. Well, it's not that any of the reports I've read have actually suggested that the ban had taken effect immediately, but I've not read a single thing about the timeframe actually involved or any insight whatsoever into the law making process in general - so, I'll be covering all that myself in one or more blog posts over the next couple of weeks
Hopefully this short posts about elastic bands has been of some reassurance. The main points are these:
- Nothing has changed and nothing is going to change in the short term
- We're not worried about it, for various reasons
- There's no way such an absurdly draconian proposal could be passed into law without considerable opposition and heavy modifications
- Even if it does become the law, I can think of at least one solid way it can be bypassed
For now, let's all have a chill pill while we still can.